Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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