Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
