so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
