i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
