you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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