She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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