woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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