I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
