So drunk its hurt
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
