i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I currently don't understand fingers.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
