A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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