This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think my vagina is haunted
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
