I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
