is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
two words: eviction party
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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