I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
