This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
