no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
