she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
