Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
