hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize