John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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