omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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