sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
