Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.