So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
