She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds