I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people