butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me