I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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