haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
