and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
