We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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