i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
