it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
