Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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