So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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