we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
