remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
