Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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