there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
