The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
