tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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