Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
