I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
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that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
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I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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