the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
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Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
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Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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