I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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