the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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