just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
