At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
