His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
