He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My balls are so social today.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
