But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
