My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize