I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
