PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
