soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
