I got chris browned last night
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
