Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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