Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
