My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
