is this the sara with the beer cane?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
