its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
